...perhaps one of the best quotes by Woody Allen that I know of.
So, of course I had to do it. I just couldn't help myself, so here it goes: Chanel's Review of the 2005 Academy Awards:
I promise to keep it brief and highly fashion and "What the fuck is up with them" based. I am, after all, a fashion/celebrity gossip expert ya' know.
Category #1: Best Dressed.
KATE WINSLET
Category #2: Most Likely to portray "Bjork" in "Icelandic Freak: The Edge of Sanity"
RENEE ZELLWEGER (left; Bjork right; the resemblance is startling)
Category #3: Most beautiful but Most in need of a few lbs. (what happened to her?...and her boobs? hello...)
NATALIE PORTMAN...
(Please, Don't Feed the Actors...)
Category #4: Best Hair...
SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Category #5: Best All Around...
CHARLIZE THERON
Category #6: Best OSCAR the Grouch Impersonation:
MARTIN SCORCESE
Category #7: Cutest Couple
JAMIE FOXX AND DATE, DAUGHTER CORINNE
Category #8: Most Interestingly Dressed Male...
JOHNNY DEPP (and still sexy)
Category #9: Most Annoying Performer Ever!!!
BEYONCE KNOWLES. Now, don't get me wrong, homegirl has the voice of an angel-- it's absolutely beautiful...but seriously, did she have to perform 3 freakin' times???
First Performance...
And then again...
3rd time is not always a charm...(but Josh Groban is freakin' amazing).
Category #10: Best Acceptance Speech:
JAMIE FOX...
This truly was a victorious night for African Americans, picking up not 1 but 2 Oscars. Morgan Freeman's time was long overdue, and it was heartwarming to see him finally receive recognition for his many years of exceptional performances. However, it was Jamie Foxx who captivated the audience and t.v. viewers alike with a speech that was nothing short of genuine, sweet, and tear-invoking. Towards the end, Foxx recounted instances in which his grandmother scolded him as a child for being unruly. He credited his grandmother, who raised him, with being his first "acting" teacher, though it was in referrence to him not "acting" out. Upon finishing his speech Foxx said, in between developing tears: "Now I talk to my grandma in my dreams. I can't wait to go to bed. Grandma, we have a lot to talk about." At that very moment, I felt tears beginning to swell up in my own eyes. It was a very sweet thing to say.
So, of course I had to do it. I just couldn't help myself, so here it goes: Chanel's Review of the 2005 Academy Awards:
I promise to keep it brief and highly fashion and "What the fuck is up with them" based. I am, after all, a fashion/celebrity gossip expert ya' know.
Category #1: Best Dressed.
KATE WINSLET
Category #2: Most Likely to portray "Bjork" in "Icelandic Freak: The Edge of Sanity"
RENEE ZELLWEGER (left; Bjork right; the resemblance is startling)
Category #3: Most beautiful but Most in need of a few lbs. (what happened to her?...and her boobs? hello...)
NATALIE PORTMAN...
(Please, Don't Feed the Actors...)
Category #4: Best Hair...
SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Category #5: Best All Around...
CHARLIZE THERON
Category #6: Best OSCAR the Grouch Impersonation:
MARTIN SCORCESE
Category #7: Cutest Couple
JAMIE FOXX AND DATE, DAUGHTER CORINNE
Category #8: Most Interestingly Dressed Male...
JOHNNY DEPP (and still sexy)
Category #9: Most Annoying Performer Ever!!!
BEYONCE KNOWLES. Now, don't get me wrong, homegirl has the voice of an angel-- it's absolutely beautiful...but seriously, did she have to perform 3 freakin' times???
First Performance...
And then again...
3rd time is not always a charm...(but Josh Groban is freakin' amazing).
Category #10: Best Acceptance Speech:
JAMIE FOX...
This truly was a victorious night for African Americans, picking up not 1 but 2 Oscars. Morgan Freeman's time was long overdue, and it was heartwarming to see him finally receive recognition for his many years of exceptional performances. However, it was Jamie Foxx who captivated the audience and t.v. viewers alike with a speech that was nothing short of genuine, sweet, and tear-invoking. Towards the end, Foxx recounted instances in which his grandmother scolded him as a child for being unruly. He credited his grandmother, who raised him, with being his first "acting" teacher, though it was in referrence to him not "acting" out. Upon finishing his speech Foxx said, in between developing tears: "Now I talk to my grandma in my dreams. I can't wait to go to bed. Grandma, we have a lot to talk about." At that very moment, I felt tears beginning to swell up in my own eyes. It was a very sweet thing to say.
Please visit the Oscars homepage for the actual results from the Ceremony. I'm not going to list them here. I believe I've written enough for one night.
